Envy

I used to envy people. Before, I was not happy with all the blessings that I have. Because sometimes, the world just doesn't seem fair, because the people who truly deserve most of what other people have don't have those same luxuries. I was truly envious of these people who despite this fact, are happy.

Can you blame me? Quitting law school, going through a generally rough patch in my life for the past few months was never a part of my plan. It was hard to understand this fact because at that time, I had it all. A loving family, the best girlfriend in the world, a future career as a lawyer, and great friends who will be there for me no matter what. Before everything turned to dust, I never realized how blessed my life was, and that I never thanked anyone because I thought that i was entitled to all these things. and despite everything, i was not contented with it all.

Everything put into perspective, losing everything was actually a blessing. Let me explain, when i lost everything, I was in a dark place of my own. A place where I could not understand why this world had forsaken me. It was truly a bad time to live, since everything i knew and everything i thought i deserved had vanished. I took time to talk to God and he taught me that being happy shouldn't be contingent on what you think you deserve. Being happy is the fact that even when everything you would want to have is out of your reach, you should be content with the fact of reaching for it until the world agrees with you. Strive hard to reach your goals and accept the fact that at this point in time, it is not for you.

To my family, you will always be a part of my life. I am truly sorry for everything. Now more than ever, i believe that nothing will tear us apart even though at some point we will be miles apart from each other. I love you and i am here for you guys.

To my Ex-Girlfriend, understanding your situation has given me perspective on what a good boyfriend should be doing. I will strive harder for myself, seek the counsel of others and most of all, I will never forget the lessons that you have taught me. I will never forget the memories, both happy and sad. I love you and I respect you.

To my true friends, I cannot imagine how my life will be right now without a constant support system who has guided me through everything. YOU made me realize that everything has its reason, YOU kept me happy even though i believed that the world turned its back on me. Everything put in place, i hope that after a few years, that we will be laughing about this. I love you and i am here for you guys.

To my future self, NEVER UNDERESTIMATE ANYONE. Love yourself and never forget that everything happened because you let things happen.

Now what have I truly learned? that Envy can either make your life horrible, or it can make it respect yourself to a point that you will not base other people's happiness upon your own. While it is true that envy is sin, its a sin that we truly cannot avoid. it's how we deal with the fact that we envy is what matters.

Seize the day, before its too late.

-Chot